My sister looked like steam was going to come out of her ears when during another eating healthy, eating lifestyle/diet change conversation I came back from yet another negative comment of hers by saying "It's called treating, not cheating."
I had just read about this psychological concept the day prior and for me it clicked. Step 1: Develop a lifetime plan/goal of how to eat healthfully for me. Step 2: Be active in making the choice to eat something not on that plan once in awhile because it tastes good and I like it. I can't eat it whenever I want and be healthy, but occasionally is good. Looking at a lifetime of never eating certain foods is very depressing. But looking forward to having those foods once in awhile makes it less likely I will give up on an eating plan, or go overboard when I do make those choices. I have eaten this way before but in my mind I was cheating on my diet, even though I planned it, I considered it planned-cheating.
Cheating implies I am doing something wrong and I may be more likely to eat it more often, choose things I don't want, and in mass quantity. It sends the wrong message that I failed. And could spiral me into more unhealthy foods and eating by considering myself a failure.
The whole conversation was really over my eating gluten. I've been gluten free for 5 years. But occasionally I make the choice to eat gluten and then suffer the consequences. I do not have Celiac Disease. But I do suffer from IBS, Arthritis, Depression, and Compulsive Eating from eating gluten. I eat it maybe 3 times a year. She couldn't grasp why I would knowingly eat something that is bad for me. This is a woman whose cupboards are full of foods that are/have refined, artificially flavored, artificially sweetened, artificially colored, hydrogenated oils, HFCS, preservatives, and MSG containing foods.
I finally explained it to her that eating gluten for me is like over consumption of alcohol. Having a hangover is miserable, and you wouldn't want to feel like that every day, but once in awhile is not too bad. In regards to gluten slowly destroying my intestines keeping me from absorbing nutrients, I explained it's a slow death, like smoking. She seemed to understand both these analogies.
Discussing my diet is incredibly frustrating. Many people don't understand that even with calorie restriction and exercise, if I don't eliminate grains I'll gain weight. It's also possible (and I'll be exploring this) that maintaining a healthy weight is contingent on suppressing bad bacteria in my intestines.
But a bigger issue is yo-yo dieting. If it's not an eating lifestyle I can live with, I will gain all the weight I lost. Losing and gaining repeatedly actually causes more health problems than just maintaining weight.
I have studied nutrition, alternative medicine, and continue to read a plethora of books and articles on healthy eating/diets and conditions related to not losing weight. Yet for some reason she thinks I'm ignorant of the principles of being healthy because I am fat.
There is a world of difference between knowledge and ability. And I'm still working on the knowledge part.